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Shayne Lamas recently posted an entry on her blog about this, and I've always had strong feelings about this as well. I thought I'd write a short bit about it.
Going through your sig other's phone is one of the things in life I can't preach against enough. Trust me, doing it will ONLY upset you. Anything you find in their phone, you are going to take out of context because you do not know the origins of that text or email, and you've already got it in your head that they are doing something bad so you will be looking for things to freak out about. There is nothing good that can come out of doing this, ever.
First of all, if you find yourself wanting to go through his/her phone in the first place, either they are untrustworthy and doing something they shouldn't be doing, or your head is in the wrong place and you're acting like a psychopath. Besides, nowadays with most phones you can delete any call logs/texts or emails, so if you don't find anything, you can never be sure whether or not something is going on, so it just contributes to the psycho mind game. As soon as you feel the urge to snoop, right then and there is when you need to reconsider whether this relationship is for you or not. Because, after you go through that phone only bad things will happen. Lets consider them.
1.) You go through their phone and find no incriminating texts/emails/calls. Good for now, but the urge will lurk beneath...and you will do it again until you find something.
2.) You find incriminating evidence and are stabbed in the heart. This feeling is probably the worst feeling in the world aside from a loved one passing away. You can either do two things at this point:
a.) Say nothing because you are too scared to admit that you went through their phone, left to stifle the many questions brewing in your head which will ultimately drive you insane
b.) Confront them about it, which will either blow up into a dramatic fight in which afterwards you'll make up temporarily, but the trust will be destroyed in your relationship
c.) You will break up as a result of it
Save yourself the grief, and either dump them or just decide to end your crazy then and there. Chances are you are insecure, and that is showing through to your other even if you are trying to hide it. Maybe you need a break to re-examine yourself and gain your confidence back. Only until you respect yourself and your partner 100% are you ready for a healthy relationship. The only things that matter are the direct interactions between you and them - nothing else. So stop with the psychoanalyzing and believe me, trust that no matter what-their dishonest behavior will be exposed one way or the other, and not either of those ways are going to be through snooping.
xo, Viva
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