Monday, March 21, 2011

The Flake

We all have one or a few of them in our lives.  Over the years, I've tried to weed them out the best I could to clear the garden of my life from those pesky little mofos - yes, I'm talking about The Flake.  That annoying, rude, chronically flaky person who always seems to cancel on your plans minutes before with some majorly lame excuse, or a just flat-out rude excuse such as "I'm tired" or "I had a bad day", multiple times.

A flake:  a person who consistently decides not to go to a planned event at the last second; to "ditch" or "bail out."

Now, there is a difference between "flaking", something that we are all allowed to do every once and a while, very sparingly - and "a flake".  A flake is a person who is the constant culprit of this kind of behavior.  A person who always has ridiculous excuses as to why they have to bail out on something at the last minute for the 18th time.  This is a pattern of regular behavior that will label you as A FLAKE!  I'd say if you flake more than once every 3 months - you're "a flake".  Sorry, TRUE.  I'll tell you this much - if you've been trying to shake me as a friend, an expedited route to getting rid of me for good is by flaking a few times - you'll be gone in no time!  

I really don't understand the flake mentality.  Yes, sure, I've flaked before when I really don't feel like doing something after all, but I make a point to do it very rarely.  I save it for those occasions where something else way more awesome has come up or if I'm feeling particularly down, tired or lazy.  Some people throw flaking around like its nothing!  Flake here, flake there.  Flaking, in my opinion, is one of the most disrespectful things a person can do to someone else, especially if it's on a regular basis.  Why are "flaky people" so damn flaky?  I've tried to understand, but unfortunately every time I give it some thought it just plain boils down to a lack of respect for other people and a sense of personal entitlement.  

I really just don't understand why people have such a hard time with saying "no" up front.  What is your issue?  Are you afraid?  Aren't you afraid of the consequences of bailing out last minute more than the temporary disappointment you will receive by telling them "no"?  Also, is it possible for a flaky person to learn to become non-flaky?  If I have any doubt in my mind whatsoever about committing to an event, I will just straight up say no to it, and there's always the possibility that I can pleasantly surprise them by showing up after all.  Flaking is being disrespectful to yourself, not only just to others.  You get to retain your dignity by adhering to this very noble rule of life:  underpromise and overdeliver.  You will gain so many fans by living by that rule, both socially and in business.

Why do flakers flake so much?  What is the root of it?  Are they scared to disappoint other people?  Is it linked with issues from childhood of never being "good enough", so they therefore try to overexert themselves in every other way to make up for that?  What is the root of flaking - that is what I would like to know, because I have such a hard time understanding it.   I guess I'll never know - it's just one of those things.  I could try to ask Flaky Mc. Flakerson, but they'll probably bail at the last minute anyways.

Tell me: after you pass, would you rather be known as "the dependable one", or "the flaky one"?  Something to consider.

C'est la vie.


We're non-flakes

1 comment:

  1. You said it well! I think it's rooted in not being held accountable for your actions and just not being aware of other people's reality other than your own. Love your dresses!