SAG Awards 2013

SAG AWARDS 2013 FASHION CRITIQUE

So, as a warning...I don't have a lot of good things to say about this collection of dresses.  I don't usually have all negative reviews in my fashion critiques but honesty is the best policy. They talk about a totally disappointing herd of dresses...  Here we go:

Jennifer Lawrence, Christian Dior Haute Couture

This was all around disappointing. First of all, she completely loses her phenomenal hourglass shape in this does-nothing-for-her-figure selection. The color is drab, the cut is nothing special OR memorable, she had that awkward dress malfunction in the middle of the night when the lower half started to fall down her legs, and it's made out of that damn annoying prom dress fabric!  Thick, shiny, bulky, stiff. This shade of blue is passive, and her complexion against it loses life.  Forgettable.

What the hell is this contraption?  Awkward colorblocking application.  Horrendous choice in shoes.  Weird jersey-knit top that does not match the skirt's theming.  It reminds me of some kind of cleaning activity.  The location where the waist hits is just off.  Confusing, and also forgettable.

Zac Posen

Another completely forgettable dress!  Seriously, did these actresses all pick their gowns with the idea in mind "its the SAG awards - we want to be taken seriously and not appreciated for good fashion whatsoever.  Better go with the mediocre at best pick."  Did they not want to be taken seriously for their fashion at this awards show or something?  There is SO much mediocrity on the red carpet this time around. Back to this dress....again, like her last dress at the Golden Globes: it does not fit well.  It needs to be tighter and she needs to stand up straight, with some presence. In order to pull off a drab color, you need to BRING IT.  You need bring WOW in some other way.  With her pale complexion, slumping (a chronic isssue with her), boring presence all-througout...the only saving grace here is the nice draping on the bottom half within the skirt.  Who is going to remember this dress in a year.  Nobody. Ps, look how much better it looks on the model:

Yea. And the necklace.  Really?  Who picked that final touch out?  Smh.

January Jones, Prabal Gurung

What in the pompadour mullet hell is going on with this look? The end product of this entire look from hair to gown was shit. This is actually kind of offensive.  Doesn't she just look like she's pissed off, or sulky?  Her agressive hair and overdone makeup is reminding me of cruella deville or the piss-attitude of Anna Wintor's character in The Devil Meets Prada.  January Jones is one of those actresses that constantly irritates me like Leah Michele.  She always seems so smug, or holier than though.  And again, the location where the waist hits and where the two color blocks meet is too high and awkward.  The hair in combination with this serious dress makes her look too hard.  As in hard-faced. 

 Oscar de la Renta

This was thankfully a bright spot in the sea of disappointment  but even this isn't THAT great.  She looks pretty.  The dress is glamorous and maybe it wasn't photographing as well as it appeared in real life, but the shade of gold seems to be falling flat.  I am happy to see her dressed up again though.  I saw just yesterday how she went out with wet hair, square glasses, baggy capri cut jeans, and a huge mens' cardigan.  

Anne Hathaway,  Giambattista Valli Haute Couture 

Frumpy.  The length is awkward which also happens to highlight/reveal the poor choice in those clunky shoes.  This bevy of actresses need some god damn spray tans!!!  Also, I am OVER the see-thru minidress/full length gown.  Short underneath with a sheer long layer over.  It never works.  The neckline above her breasts is lopsided; the whole thing is a let down.  She looks like a little girl dressed up.

Sophia Vargas in Donna Karen

Ugh this was terrible.  What the hell is going on with the neckline???  It's reminiscent of an arm sling.  The slit hits at such a makes-no-sense and not-flattering height.  The side strap falling down her arm is super annoying.  I want to chop both straps off and make this a strapless...like EVERY other gown she wears yet an improvement nonetheless.  Worst dressed nominee.  This is haphazard and sloppy.  Not a fan of the shiny fabric, either.  It's like a wedding dress mid-design, first-fitting and she went on a bathroom break.  Stiches all over, fabric hanging all over the damn place.  

I have no idea who this is, but imagine cutting that side hip thing off.  If that part was gone, this dress would be very pretty.  I just had to include this picture in there to add something somewhat pretty to the array of lame dresses.  I like the graceful shade of seafoam, the lace detail and the invisible neckline, as if the lace florals are climbing up her décolletage + the nude mesh.  Just chop that folded segment/partition off her hip, please.

Kerry Washington, Rodarte 

This is very similar to the white body cast that Anne Hathaway wore last week to the Golden Globes.  Rigid bodice, white gown...except this one is a little better.  I feel like the silver studding throughout the bodice does not go with the delicate lacework towards the bottom hemline of the gown...and was another...yes, awkward touch.  Random design of this dress, additionally.

Givenchy 

This is offensive, also.  She looks tired as hell.  This looks like a bad design out of the 90's.  A boring black long dress with a heinous flare added to it plus a batwing. The fit is lifeless.  The batwing is terrible.  And the kicker...LOL...that DAMN geometrical black and white print stripe along the slit is so ugly.  Her hair looks messy and that dark lipstick is.....UGH.  The orange eyeshadow, too!  I'm so disappointed by the herd of terrible dresses at this awards show!  This deserves an F bomb.  What the fuck happened with this fucking eyesore.

Leah Michelle in Valentino 

True to form.....Leah Michelle is annoying me again.  First of all: the hemline.  It might have been an added detail of this dress that was part of the design, but it photographed as if they took the dress up at the last minute and gave it a bad stitch job.  The skirt is also mis-shaped and billows out at the bottom in an unflattering way. It's a pepto bismo pink strapless prom dress and her bangs are unsightly.  Worst dressed nominee.  Not only is it nothing special, but it's a juxtaposition-ing her look in general.  Ugh.

Learn your style, Learn Yourself, Love Your Life

I was perusing the UK celebrity gossip website (my daily indulgence) the DailyMail, and came across this article about a recent Miranda Kerr spotting in New York.  They often report on her, and it's apparent from all the pictures that Ms. Kerr is one of those rare celebrities that has and practices a keen sense of style on the daily.  Every day, she looks polished, chic and very well put together.  I doubt her stylist (if she has one) styles her every day outfits, so I think it's safe to assume that these looks are all Miranda. Here's the picture from the article:

Then, as I was reading the comments (best part about DailyMail, by the way...) I came across this comment:

"Ok, that's enough!  I just can't believe this girl - almost every single outfit she wears is impeccable.  I would kill to own half of her wardrobe!  Some girls have it all! So unfair!" -MsKingsley, Southsea, United Kingdom 25/11/2012 12:28 

My very first thought after reading this was: "Wow...I guess I'm at an advantage.  I'm so glad I know that you don't need money to have style.  And a little Forever 21 does NOT hurt."

I don't know how and I don't know when, but... I am going to pursue and achieve the following.  After years of aimless wandering within my career, I've finally found the direction I should be traveling in (fashion) and I've finally composed one of my top career goals.  Somehow, someway - I will not only make America's women well dressed - but I want to teach them on a broad scale - the knack for dressing themselves with style.  I want this to be known amongst American women in a manner that will be as widely accepted and exercised as driving a car. I want to teach women how to understand their bodies - good fashion coming as a side effect of that. The comparison to learning and knowing how to drive a car I believe is surprisingly fitting.  A woman could go her whole life without knowing how to drive, and gets by just fine.  Not the most convenient at times, but no harm done to her whatsoever, not knowing how to drive.  However, having a drivers license and being able to drive a car provides many more opportunities and general benefits over not having a car.  Similar to looking good.  You don't have to - but it damn well helps matters, and I think it should be just as commonplace as women driving cars in 2013.  It's an untapped skill.

I think with a lot of women, style and dressing well is an "all or nothing" kind of thing.  They think that either you have it, or you don't - and if you don't, that's just fine because it's too high maintenance, anyways... and besides, poorly dressed women are so common here in the US, this leads women towards justifying putting next to zero effort in and always looking sloppy.  When you are surrounded by mediocrity and can easily blend in to the blase, frumpy canvas that is the majority of the American fashion arena, the easy action is to jump aboard the cattle heard and follow along.

Clothing, fashion, style, my wardrobe - is my thing, and I guess people have come to know me for it.  If I'm going to go out and be seen, I have a certain fashion reputation to uphold!  However...I have a confession. Half of my clothes come from forever 21.  HALF.  You would never guess, because I will style an outfit that looks near identical to what Miranda Kerr is wearing in that picture, for drastically less money than most women assume it takes to achieve that kind of look.

I recently went wild in the children's section of target.  Yes, the kids section - and I scored numerous pieces reminiscent of J Brand, Theory, Burberry (yes, Burb), and L Wren Scott.  I'll even prove it to you.  I bought this girls' cream lace crop sweater, perfect for layering and fits exactly like all of my other "Womens'" cardigans I've bought in the past:

Cherokee Girls Sweater, $16.99

This one below, available at Barneys by L Wren Scott for $1695 gives the same ambiance and style of what I had in mind when I purchased the Target brand.  I even like mine better, because the lace is in the front instead of the back!  Here's the seventeen hundred dollar one:

Of course I realize that there are certain benefits of going with the L Wren Scott purchase...better fabric, craftsmanship, life of the piece...but lets face it.  Some people will never be able to afford this caliber of clothing.  Most of us aren't included in the target market which these clothes are geared towards.  Does that mean we can't look just as good?  Nope....

And here, this coat:

$59.99, Merona Wool Coat with shawl.  Sixty bucks...compared to these:

Max Mara Gatti Coat, $2,719

Tahari, Mink Brown Wool Blend Oversize Collar "Janine" Coat, $595

Here's the most important part of this piece:

It's one thing to find one piece that you adore, scouring the web/racks until you find a cheaper version of something that brings the same effect, but it's an entirely different thing - developing the skill of recognizing a piece at random, on your own, in a setting that doesn't automatically arouse your fashion radar.  THIS, my friends - is the trick.  Once you develop this skill, your ball is rolling.  You are now becoming fluent in fashion.  For this, you need to develop "the eye".  The eye is about a true understanding of your body and your style.  I believe that a lot of badly dressed women are so because they never discovered what their personal style is.  So, the next time you do stumble upon something unexpectedly instead of passing it by without a second thought, almost missing a gem - snatch that sucker up, ignoring your freinds' snickers, because after they see how you wear it they'll be asking "Hey, where'd you get that jacket from again? It's growing on me...it's way cuter on than in the store!"

I fully believe that having an understanding of your body and knowing your personal style can secure an understanding of who you are, what you want out of life and who you want to be. It sounds a little exaggerated, but it's has more value and is more relevant than you might think. You look good, feel put together - this will extend into other parts of your life and for me, keeps me in tune with myself. It's not about just shopping - it's about becoming and embracing your style - beyond your clothes - and this builds confidence.  

It bugs me when I hear people say "the cheap clothes never fit right.  And they fall apart after one wash!"  This my friends, is an EXCUSE!  When girls quip that they "cant deal" with Forever 21 and that "their clothes don't fit my body type", my eyes begin to roll themselves.  The women who say that are usually the women who don't know what they're doing with fashion.  Yea, I said it. Its all about knowing your body type, working with lengths, layering, balance and a developing "know how".

We all have aspects of our body that don't work with certain styles, cuts, trends, ect. Forget that - forget the rules of fashion.  When people say that, I believe it's 1. A sign of not knowing one's personal style, and 2.  It's an excuse for not being willing learn how to dress yourself properly 3. A girl pulling her nose up at lesser quality clothing brands, stating that her impossibly unique body type can only be dressed by X super expensive fancy designer.  It doesn't take money to have style.

Have you ever heard the expression "She would look fabulous in a brown potato sack".  It doesn't just refer to women with the perfect figure - it's often said about women who always look fantastic - no matter what they're wearing.  There are very few things that are just completely, impossibly atrocious with zero hope or potential of ever being styled to look halfway good.  It's great practice to take the boring pieces you have, and pair them in ways you typically wouldn't.  You'd be surprised how the inspiration and "on a roll" you will feel after just a little while of doing this.  It's fun!  And, the benefits are highly worth it :-)

Here's some more examples of Target childrens' section scores!

These Mossimo jeggings, on sale for 4.99:

And then there's these...

Jbrand Maria Leggings, $189

And lastly, this and this - fun for the holidays!

Cherokee Girls at Target , $16.99

Cherokee Girls at Target , $16.99

Compared to these...

 L Wren Scott, $2,470

Jones New York, $89

Happy hunting!  Ps, WalMart is NOT the same as Target.

xo,

Viva

Golden Globes 2013 Fashion Critique

Amanda Siefred, Givenchy

Maybe it's her posture, maybe its the dress....but for some reason this one isn't doing it for me.  I think the neckline and sleeves are cut in an unflattering way. It looks frumpy, and it makes her look pale. You want at least a hint of color if you're going to go with white.  Perhaps if it was a better fit on the upper portion of her body, and she was standing up straighter it would give a better overall picture...but this looks as if she borrowed her big sister's dress at the last minute.  And, the all there hair is drowning the whole look. And she looks short in it!  3 out of 10.

Hayden Panettiere, Roberto Cavalli 

This one is a better version of what Amanda Siefred's should have been.  At the same time, it's not the most memorable dress, either.  Additionally, the choice of clutch seems random and almost clashes with  the ballet pink shade of the dress - the almost fuchsia "pop" of the clutch.  I'd give it a 7.5 out of 10.

Jennifer Lawrence, Christian Dior Haute Couture 

A lot of critics had negative feedback about the way this dress fit Jennifer's upper body, but I really liked the pointy, almost "Madonna-esque" look of this dress (you have to see it from the side). It gave it an editorial and avant-garde look, evocative of something straight off the runway at fashion week.  Had it not been for the enthusiastic bust, this would otherwise be another strapless prom type gown that wouldn't have batted an eye.  However, I'm not a fan of the thick, rigid fabric it's made out of, and in most of the red carpet photos it looks like a coral-orange.  However, later in the night when I saw the dress in different settings, it was apparent that the dress is actually red, which I really really liked.  I think it's slimming on her, and the golden, chrome belt was a satiating touch.  8.5 out of 10.  I just love her, by the way.

Julianne Hough, Monique Lhuillier

This might have been my favorite look of the night.  I love the white and gold sparkle, the cut of this dress and her almost "rock star" hair, which gave a scruffy edge to an otherwise princessy dress.  This is also probably her personal best red carpet look to date.  Impressed!  9 out of 10.

Anne Hathaway in Chanel

Everyone raved and raved about this.  I think its a disappointment.  I hate it when an actress is on fire within her career, and all the fashion people just feed off that fire and kiss her ass, always giving rave reviews over mediocre at best ensembles.  They do that with Angelina Jolie chronically!   The bodice looks weird.  It's not tight enough.  It looks like its falling down, and makes her shape look boyish. Maybe its just that this damn hair she has right now is going to ruin any red carpet look.  Either way, this was not worth anything more than a 3.5 out of 10.

JLo in Zuhair Murad 

My absolute favorite of the night.  J Lo has been pretty reliable lately in the fashion forward best dressed arena.  I just love the nude look of this dress, yet also the regal feel it gives from the lacework.  It covers up, but hugs her body so well that it's quite sexy.  She got the hair perfect, and her neutral makeup compliments the overall look quite well.  This is chic by definition. This is a dress that can look great on any type of person, too - from voluptuous, bootylicious J Low to twiggy Nicole Richie - due to the neutral tones and simple cut. As long as it's fit snug and fills all the right places properly, it's a winner.  So young, but elegant and sophisticated at the same time.  I hope someone makes a good copycat of this - cause I want one! 10/10.

Jessica Alba in Oscar de la Renta

This is the definition of mediocre.  Readers who are familiar with my blog might know that I'm not a fan of this thick, shiny, bulky prom dress fabric.  It ruins every dress it's made with. They do upholstering with this shit!  A dress made with this can be cut and tailored perfectly without any flaw, yet here comes this fabric along with its debbie downer attitude.  It has a cheap look to it that they haven't found a way to modernize.  Always one solid color, some gathering at the side...blah blah blah.  And the orange color isn't paying her any favors, either. NEXT 3/10

Jennifer Garner, Vivienne Westwood

It's great to see her dressed up!  Every picture they print of her is always featuring really drab soccer mom outfits.  I get that she's a mom of three and fashion isn't really a priority right now, but the stuff she wears nowadays is beyond drab - jeans 3 sizes too big, ugly ass hats, really non feminine glasses...no excuse.  You can still be comfortable without being unattractive.  It's bad.  This is a fantastic change of pace for her and definitely brings back the "body" she was known for back before she had the babies.  I loved the sparkly, jewel red and she's posing well with it too.  In fact, I think this is the first time her body has made an apparence dressed up in at least three years. 8 out of 10.

Kate Hudson, Alexander McQueen

I loved this dress.  Epitome of fierce.  My first thought was "this needs a more dramatic, pulled back hairdo", but after looking at it the tumbling, cascading blonde locks don't really put me off that much.  If she had more/longer hair, it might have been a disaster, but her hair is not too agressive for this well, agressive, dress.  I loved it, and would be honored to sport this gown any day.  9 out of 10!

Leah Michele in Marchesa

Ugh.  I don't know why, but everything she does annoys me.  If she's annoying me in Marchesa, I'm apt to say that it's me, not her.  There is never, ever any look she pulls of in a fantastic way.  Everything she wears looks slightly wrong for some reason.  It seems that she's struggling to find her style, and this dress follows that habit.  I can't put my finger on what would have made it better - hair up? No...different shoes?  Better, but no...
In any case, I'm not feeling it.  Maybe I'm just not feeling her.  5 out of 10.

Megan Fox, Dolce and Gabanna

Out of the many nude lace dresses running up and down the red carpet, this was my favorite.  However, there's something about the way she carries it that bothers me.  She always seems so smug with that pouty look on her face and the tattoos. Also, while the dress is gorgeous, it doesn't seem to fit her persona well. She's in this precious, darling dress with that irritable, "bad girl" look on her face. Lighten up, man.  You just had a baby. Smile, or wear black to go with your "vixen" thing. Whatever.... 8 out of 10.

Taylor Swift in Donna Karan Atelier 

This is a fresh breath of air for Taylor Swift. It's nice to see her in something not so sugary for a change.  She doesn't often wear dark, jewel tones on the red carpet - and this was a welcomed variation from her normal look.  I think a tad more makeup - eye makeup - (and a slight tan) would have suited this look better, to complete the rich, deep ambiance that she's radiating.  However, this look is SO far from what she normally goes for that one can't help but think "Oh, she's trying so hard to radiate the "revenge" look here in response to yet another failed 1 month tryst with that British boy band guy", which makes her look kind of desperate.  In any case, A for effort!

What do you hate more: your insecurity or a girl who's prettier than you?

Saturday, September 1st 2012


*I didn't actually send this to her….but I sure wanted to!!!  I work at a night club doing VIP bottle service*

To the girl who called me a cunt at work on Saturday night,


I wanted to reach out to you in regards to your (and now my) experience this past Saturday night with your VIP table, myself being your cocktail waitress.  I'm aware that you had some words to share with my manager, and unfortunately the customer service experience you experienced with me was so bad that the most accurate verbiage to describe the way you felt about me was "cunt".  I always strive to provide the best, most detail oriented and "above and beyond" service to every single one of my clients, so this concerns me greatly. I welcome any direct feedback you may have for me, in hopes that I can use this information to improve upon my customer service skills so that your next visit if you choose to come back meets your expectations.  Ok, now that I got that out of the way I am going to break down what's really happening here.

We know this is not about the champagne that you didn't like, the sparkler that apparently brought too much attention or any other issue with the service.  The service was amazing.  The second I shook your hand and greeted you at your table, I could feel it.  That oh-so-familiar vibe…I always can.  You hated me already, and were genuinely pissed off that I was going to be your server all night long. After absorbing three separate verbal lashings from you that were just blatantly rude (including the one where you yelled at me for bringing a sparkler with your bottle of champagne which I KNOW you are fully aware is standard practice), I decided to stay the hell away from you and focus my attention/limit my interaction to the gentleman in your group who was also the cardholder.  I knew that speaking to you or the other female in your group further would only add fuel to your self-made fire.  It would have ended right there for me, but since you decided to trash talk me to my boss calling me a cunt, dissing my *perfect* customer service that I take very seriously and really brought the claws out - I have some words myself that I'd like to share.  After all, you asked for it.

I would be really surprised if you assimilate the message in this letter I'm writing, because of two assumed roadblocks. Either:

1. You won't get it
2. Your pride and ego won't allow you to embrace or acknowledge the message

I'm almost positive that #1 is NOT applicable to you - I am confidant that you are an intelligent woman.  I would be genuinely happy if you provide me with a response that's real, because I know that you know that this is 100% correct…but please do correct me if I'm wrong here.  But we know I'm not. What was this *really* about?  It's so transparent…sigh.  You're hot.  Very hot.  You're in the top tier of girls/women in terms of looks, and you're accustomed to being the most beautiful woman in the room wherever you go.  I can tell this based on the way you were dressed and your attitude/demeanor. However! If there happens to be another girl in the room who is at or above your level of hotness … this is a problem for you.  And I can understand.  However, we can choose whether or not we want to act on this and/or how we act on this.  You chose to take the "provide problems/hatred for the other girl which will make me feel better" route.  This may temporarily make you feel better…but treating the symptom instead of the cause is always a mistake in the long run.  And it *will* hurt someday.

This exact subject is unfortunately extremely relevant to me and common in my life.  This is one of the biggest challenges that I have been trying to cope with in my (daytime) career and everyday life.  At this point, I just keep my head down, focus on my work and try to speak as little as possible if I'm in a place where I care whether or not the women will hate me…mainly at work.  Because they are just LOOKING for a reason to hate you.  Vigilantly.  When theres no relationship or situation-specific reasons for two women that are strangers yet one still hates the other, it's because of one thing:

Women HATE other women for no reason other than jealousy.

They see a beautiful competitor, compare her to themselves, then feel insecure, and finally act on this by behaving maliciously, gossiping about her, singling her out, making fun of her….generally making her feel bad so they can feel good.  Want the solution? STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO ME/ANY OTHER WOMAN.  You are beautiful, probably smart plus all the other good things you have going for you, and comparing yourself to me or her is a toxic habit that will not enrich your life or your character in any way.  As a matter of fact, it will very much do the opposite.  I refuse to partake in this behavior because I've witnessed it done so often, I've felt the effects it has, it's caused me pain, sadness and frustration.  I've lost a lot of opportunities because of this, and for a while it was really affecting my psyche and led to depression as well…but more than anything else: it's a total waste of time.  And in regards to being the victim of this kind of behavior…I'm OVER it. I can't wait until I'm in a position where I don't have to depend on other women for anhthing, i.e - when I'm financially stable enough to be my own boss.  I literally dream of that day all the time.  And I'm going to be the nicest boss and provide strong leadership, promote having an open mind and encourage women empowering other women, not bringing them down to push themselves up.

I generally succeed in not allowing it to bother me any more…the only reason I'm writing this is because I wanted to get something about it down on paper to read one day, and to spread the word by putting it up on my blog.  Sometimes, with certain women, it does not matter ONE BIT how I act, what I say, what I do…she will never like me no matter what.   Ever.  And if that woman happens to be your supervisor or the woman interviewing you at a new job…you're screwed. It really used to piss me off a lot, having to deal with other women's' bullshit insecurity and the fact that it holds me back sometimes.  There's just no amount of ass kissing or trying to show that you're a genuinely nice person who just wants a chance to move forward in her career. It's one of the trade-offs of being beautiful.  I hate saying that, too.  It feels and sounds so vain and self absorbed, but it's 100% true and accurate. Taboo and true.

However, might I point out to you that I didn't ask to be beautiful. I've had *no* work done whatsoever (not that I'm against that by any means) it's how god created me.  I really feel like the only surefire way to avoid all of this is by purposely making myself look as ugly as possible.  And I've actually come close to doing it too, believe it or not!  I'm not exaggerating - I have actually considered the benefits and drawbacks of doing this.  No makeup, get fat, no waxing, plucking or any beauty/hygine steps. For two reasons I ultimately decided that I'm NEVER going that f*ing far.

#1 - I'm not going to have these looks forever.  It's going to fade one day, so even if you don't like it I'm going to enjoy it - not flaunt it - while it lasts.  Flaunting what you have and being appreciative/enjoying what you have are two different things.  I think we've been taught by society that admitting and enjoying the fact that you may be a good looking person is not ok.  It's taboo to talk about it.  And I definitely don't, in an effort to minimize the problems it already brings me, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I am appreciative and pleased with the looks I was given.  You can enjoy and feel fortunate  about your good looks without being vain and pompous, and while also being humble as well.  It's all about having respect for and being aware of other people's feelings.  Having empathy is one of the most valuable skills you can have, in my opinion. As long as you do not rely on your looks too much and also develop other skills and strengths, I think its healthy and perfectly OK to enjoy being good looking.

#2 - It's the goddamn principle of it.  Why should I live my life around what other women want?  Their jealousy and reasoning behind how they feel for how I look is coming from a purely selfish place anyways…it's all rooted to their ego. That's not a worthy reason for me to make myself look like a man.

So, when people try to tell me that this critical feedback and energy is coming from a "constructive criticism" viewpoint and that "I shouldn't place so much importance on looks anyways" - I tell those people to CAN IT.  Have you ever considered that maybe its THEM who may be putting too much importance on looks?  They're the ones who are focused on it...I'm just trying to survive here.  So according to them, I'm somehow out of bounds for having feelings & an opinion about the way I'm being treated by many different women -mostly strangers- because of how THEY feel about MY looks?  I'm not going to apologize for having a reaction to that.  I'm only human. At this point, it's not looks I'm putting importance on, its how I'm being treated.  And if someone that I don't or barely know is treating me like crap without any good reason at all, I'm forced to assume its because of the way I look. I ALWAYS make a concerted effort to: smile, make eye contact, have open body language, be friendly, etc….I don't dress like a whore…throw me a fricken bone here!  I am also a shy person.  This often gets construed as "bitchyness".  I digress… Once again: they are constantly looking for *any* reason to dislike you.  I know that last phrase hits home with you.  So, why are you doing this?  It's exactly how you were acting last night - if it wasn't the sparkler, it would have been something else.  It's a virulent way to think.

I tell the advocates of women on women bashing: if they themselves were getting dirty looks all the time, being scowled at, singled out and generally "hated on", they'd eventually take issue with it as well.  I also happen to be passionate about fashion.  This is not popular with other women.  Some things are worth it to me.  I love dressing up and putting together amazing outfits, not just for me but for other girls as well!  And if a woman asks me on the street where I purchased something, how I did my hair, eye makeup - whatever it is, I always tell her.  I don't mind one bit if she goes out and buys the same handbag as me.  I want to encourage more fashion (especially in fashion-deprived San Francisco) and also somehow provide a little bit of happiness to that woman's world.  Why wouldn't anyone?  These are the questions I ask myself that make me question humanity sometimes.

Any of this ringing true to you?  Yea, I knew it.  You know exactly what I'm talking about.  Every attractive female does. But, there are many other ways to deal with this without bringing other girls down, and what you're doing is vile and unacceptable.  I don't know about you, but I do not want to invite so much negativity, bad karma and hatred into my life…I don't see why women do it so often.  Sure, it's a quick fix when you're feeling insecure - making them feel like shit about themselves or knowing that you've gotten them in trouble at work (which I didn't, btw…he could see your inner ugliness from a mile away) but please realize…it will actually depress your spirit over the long term, encourage self hatred, MORE insecurity and generally make YOU feel like shit about yourself.  Stop doing this to yourself.  Have more respect for yourself. You're worth it.  Every woman is.

Something very important that this all has taught me is: thinking in a judgmental way truly is toxic and does yourself a large disservice.  Additionally,  I cannot run fast enough from other people who are judgmental-both men and women.  A judgmental man is one of the biggest turn offs for me.  It is such a closed minded, unattractive and limiting way to think. If us women could all look at each other as team mates instead of competitors and be supportive of each other, think about how powerful we could be.  Instead, you all decide to make each others' lives miserable because the next one is prettier than you.  It's pathetic, and it does not solve anything.  Stop comparing yourself to other women.  Focus on how awesome you are, and give her a thumbs up for being so awesome too.  Positivity encourages more positivity and the same goes for negativity. Also, stop putting so much importance on your appearance.  I encourage confidence, but with certain people it crosses a line and becomes unhealthy to the point where it affects their socialized behavior.  You have to learn how to remain comfortable when another pretty girl is around.  Also, behavior says a lot to people - what's it going to look like to your man when he sees you like this?  Nothing is more revolting than jealousy and insecurity.  And that's the honest to god truth. I personally regard confidence as my number one desired trait in a man (tied with sense of humor and my 5'11 minimum height requirement...hey, I'm 6'0 in heels).

Oh, one last thing: the next time you want to do this to another girl trying to work, minding her own business…. try not to let your jealousy and emotion show so much when you're complaining to her boss.  You totally busted yourself out by using the word "cunt".  This made it so obvious to us that it was not about any legitimate customer service issue.  I mean, you really have to earn being called a cunt… so the fact that you chose such a harsh word for a supposed "champagne mishap" or an unwanted sparkler made it crystal-clear that ulterior motives were present.  Also, you have to come to terms with the fact that you can't and won't be the only hot girl in the world. Neither can I.  And I'm OK with that.  I understood this from a very young age, but something is telling me that you're still struggling with this.  I'm not allowed to look attractive and put together at work?  Um, hell no.  Even if I got called a cunt it was still worth all the tips I made, and this incident will not bring me down.  In fact, it motivated me in a strange way.  I truthfully hope you will be honest with yourself about this.  I have a feeling you'll be a lot happier when you take this heavy habit off of your shoulders and give *yourself* the attention and respect you deserve, not other girls.

Sincerely,
Genevieve

Facebook Etiquette

1.   Don't tag people in random pictures of inanimate objects that you think they might like, or have something to do with the inside joke you're trying to half-reveal to friends on facebook.  Nobody gets it, because most of the time you're trying to remain elusive and act Mr. or Ms. Coolpants by leaving everyone to wonder about it.  Not to mention, the person being tagged might find it annoying - I know I become irritated when tagged in pictures of a hotel I once went to, my favorite dish at a restaurant, or some obscure street art that has the word "viva" in it.  Post it on the person's wall instead so you can share it with them.

2.    When you post a status update, picture – or anything for that matter, realize that it is then up for commentary.  Some peoples’ opinions may not agree with yours.  For example, I realize that some people reading this post might not agree with my opinions on Facebook etiquette.  But, you know what....everyone is entitled to their own opinions.  Let me remind you that you're POSTING ON A PUBLIC FORUM.  If you’re not game for commentary, DON’T POST IT.  

3.    Avoid making ambiguous, passive aggressive status updates that are obviously directed towards one person in particular, yet avoid any mention of this person directly by name because, well - that would be "dramatic".  In actuality, your immature behavior is most likely annoying 85% of the people who read your status. Publicly spewing your dirty laundry in a way that YOU think is subtle, is something that nobody wants to be bothered with.  It's not subtle.  It's irritating.  If you simply MUST write a confrontational status update towards someone in particular (which I don't recommend), grow a pair and call them out directly.  Otherwise, stop bitching on Facebook and deal with your issue with this person privately, in a respectful and productive manner...AKA the right way to handle it.

4.    Please use proper grammar.  Of course, everyone (myself included) makes typos & mistakes.  Regular misuse of grammar does not reveal you in your best light, and makes it difficult for people to take you seriously. Yes, even if it's "just Facebook". You never know how your contacts may be of use to you someday. Mistakes are ok - we all do it.  But please don't craft some gAArbaGe kRaP liK dis on a regular basis. If so, I will defriend you.

5.    Don't post embarrassing and unflattering photos of your friends, claiming "Well, if you don't want those pictures showing up on facebook, stop acting that way."  NO.  NEWSFLASH! You are not the end-all-be-all decider of what people should and shouldn't be doing. To then publicize these photos, knowing that the person in question will not appreciate this is a total breach of trust!  Having a camera does not give you rights.  It gives you opportunities.  If you really are concerned with their actions - talk to them in private.  Have some respect.  We all know you're doing it to be dramatic.  As a matter of fact, don't even post pictures of your friends until you've given them a heads up and DEFINITELY do not tag them until your friends have had a chance to preview the pics.

6.    Do you really have to say "Good Morning Facebook!!!" and "Nighty night my Facebookers!" every. single. day?  Recall that Coco Chanel quote: "Before you leave the house, look in the mirror and remove one accessory. Less is always more".  This applies to Facebook as well.   A good rule of thumb here – eliminate one out of every three status updates you're tempted to post online.  And, more than three per day says "facebook obsessed". Less is more.  Nobody cares about the vapid, mundane details of your every day life.

7.    If you send me a request in Farm ville, you will be deleted as a friend.  Same goes for Mobwars, and pretty much every other Zynga game.

8.    Facebook names like "Sharon Cantstopmeevaindislife Smith" and "Tyrone HustlatillIdie Goldman" are stupid as hell.  Please don't create run-on sentences/middle names in an attempt to sum up what you stand for in life by making up some grammatically disastrous phrase/word as your middle name.  Its DUMB.

9.    Lets try and limit the mobile uploads of our pets/babies to one a week.  Two if you absolutely MUST.

10. Don't allow your negative posts to exceed 5% of your overall collection.  Even if I'm in a horrible mood, the last thing I want to do is throw myself a pity party for all 800 of my facebook friends to see and roll their eyes at.  It obstructs my cause.

11.  Don't add me to your random, creepy groups without even sending me a personal message about it.

12.  If someone denies your friend request - for the love of God, let it end there.

13.  Try not to frequently post pictures that are undoubtedly aimed to make other people jealous - i.e. pictures of your baller lifestyle, pictures of your bottle service tables & Grey Goose Magnums over and over again, repetitive self portraits of your "new bathing suit - should I keep it?" just so you can show off your hot bod.  It doesn't make people admire you and what you're doing.  It makes us think you're insecure, attention-starved and also makes us resentful towards you for making us depressed about our own less baller lifestyles.  Nobody likes a regular show off.  However --- there is absolutely no harm in posting something about a personal achievement, some pounds lost, muscle gained or a new possession you've recently bought and especially love. It's the repetitive braggarts that I'm targeting here.

14. Don't stalk someone on Facebook and then pretend like you don't know them or can't even say hi in real life.  Believe me, they often know you're stalking, so you might as well take a forward, confident & humorous approach about it.

15. Personally, I don't understand why people add/request other people they do not know on Facebook.  I realize that a lot of people use Facebook for marketing/networking purposes.  That being said, I think most of this random requesting going on is stalking-related.  If you have a brand to market, create a page.  Use Linkedin.  I will not accept unless I've met this person in real life at least one time.

Thats all from Facebook Rant-Land for now! - Viva

Penny Fur My Thoughts

Fur.  


It's a touchy subject.  And no, the recent Kim Kardashian flour-bombing incident is not what led me to write this post - I've felt this way about fur and have been meaning to put it down on screen for a while now.  This recent incident is just proof that the issue with K.K and fur is heating up, and I think it's about time.

I suspect that most people tend to/feel pressured to take one extreme side when it comes to wearing fur - either you're a heartless, evil member of the 1% who relishes in forcing everyone to visually absorb your wealth by smearing luxe animal fur all over your body - or you're a dirty wannabe-hippie who has nothing better to do than obsess over what other people are choosing to wear, and forcing your opinions on it down everyone's throats.


I, personally, am somewhere in the middle on this.  Yes, I do have some fur pieces.  All but one were given to me as gifts, so I somehow in my head rationalize that it's OK to wear them since I didn't actually contribute money to the industry, but we all know that's just a bunch of crap (LOL).  But you know what?  I'm not ashamed to admit that do enjoy wearing them every now and again, and as long as one is following the general rule of "everything in moderation", I think its more or less OK.  If you want to wear fur, as with most things in life - you need to practice some discretion, respect and tread lightly.

People feel out of touch with the issue of fur, since each of the two parties (for or against) are so difficult to relate to.  Most of us are not fur wearing multi-millionaires OR higher-than-thou modern day hipster hippies who sit around for hours coming up with the snarky commentary towards those who wear fur.  Do we have to be so extreme about it?


Perfect example of how NOT to wear fur.  Kim KarTrashian. Let's take a look:

3.06.12 (with $6000 Giuseppe Zanotti shoes, I might add)

(She doesn't look out of touch with her husband at ALL here  ;-P )

These are only a select few of the many pictures I've come across where Kim is wearing at least  SOME fur, however I wanted to select the pictures that really make my case (which were not hard to find).  

1.  Wearing head-to-toe fur ages you decades

2.  It makes a horrible statement

3.  It looks tacky 

4.  It adds pounds to one's frame and makes you look fat when you're wearing more than just a small fur piece.  It should only be 10% maximum of your entire look. 

Some fur accessories here and there I think are OK, but too much can be offensive.  Additionally - when you style an outfit and wear it, it makes a statement.  You speak with what you choose to wear, whether you like it or not.  This is why I believe the skill of being able to see oneself from another person's perspective is valuable.  If it's a matter of you not caring, then I guess there is no problem here.  However, don't be suprised if you get flour-bombed outside of Neiman Marcus on your next shopping trip.  I'd advise to take these points into consideration when deciding to wear outfits as the ones pictured above.  Kim comes across as a greedy, vile little pig by wearing so much fur all the time.  It's offensive to me and many others - and only adds to the laundry list of reasons why I don't like her and everything she stands for.

To sum up, here are I think two good general rules of thumb: 

1. Everything in moderation

2. When in doubt, do the opposite of what Kim Karsdashian is doing, and you should be good.  :-)

xo,

Viva