"Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think."

[Ksubi sunglasses, Forever 21 sweaterdress, Burberry scarf, Aldo shoes]

Every time I read that quote by Jean de La Bruyère, it brings one of those "lets put things into perspective" moments that I love so much.  I am lucky enough to know a lot of happy, relaxed, positive and inspiring people in my life.  I also know a few people who are insufferable, negative, unhappy and always stressed out or upset over something.  I am a true believer in that you will receive what you put out into this world.  I read on a Lululemon bag the other day "your outlook on life is a direct reflection of the way you feel about yourself".  These two quotes go hand in hand - and they're completely accurate.  Generally, happy, relaxed, caring and self-assured people receive the best kind of surprises, perks and luck in their lives.  It just happens naturally that way.  Often times I will find the comedy in ridiculously bad situations, where I'd otherwise be pissed off, bitter and resentful.  

A good example of this is my best friend's "parking karma."  She is a very positive, relaxed and confident person who rarely gets angry.  Everything that she seems to touch works out well for her, and parking is a great example.  Without fail, every time she goes anywhere in SF, she finds rockstar parking right off the bat. Every time.  If you're not familiar with San Francisco, that's a pretty big feat.  There will be times where I will just leave a place because I've been circling for parking for 35 minutes.  Another person I know who I am very close with is constantly inspiring me with his relaxed, endearing and positive outlook on life.  Great things are constantly coming to him, and it is evident that his energy is the reason why-it's inspirational. 


Historically, I tend to get flustered about things from time to time, but recently I've begun to improve on this and I have to say that I definitely notice an all over improvement in the flow of my life in general.  This goes for worrying as well-I am definitely a worrier.  When I finally get fed up with worrying and just "give in", usually everything ends up working out, and that just goes to show that all my worrying was useless and in vain.  The chain/domino effect affects more things in our lives than we realize.  It sounds cheesy, but having an open mind in your life will bring in the good and shed negativity in all forms, (including people)  and opens the door to opportunity.  Once you let go of the small stuff, things begin to work out better seemingly on their own, and the chain effect kicks in - in a good way.  


My mom has been touting "the power of positive thinking" my whole life.  Although there are definitely days from hell where I DON'T want to hear that, as a general rule of life, I'd say that it really is true.  So take charge and open yourself up to more comedy and less tragedy in your life, even when you want to punch something.  That just makes it all the more pleasant to deal with.  


Anyways, to make my point concise, you get what you give out in this world. The best way to earn a good reputation is to actually aspire to be what you're trying to portray.  I generally don't believe in Karma, but I do believe in the domino effect.  Everything in your life is rooted back to you.


xo, Viva

15 Tips

A friend of mine referred me to this article about old school rules for women.  I posted my favorite one above....the position and expression on the woman's face is hysterical!  Yes, please ladies...do not do that.  Here is the link:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/15-tips-for-single-dames

There's a few of them that I disagree with, but for the most part I'd say they're still pretty relevant.

"Don't be careless" states that you should never talk while dancing.  On this one, I'd advise to feel it out-depending on the dynamic you have with your guy.  Talking while dancing can be awkward yes, but it can also be sexy as well.

"Don't be familiar" with the headwaiter by talking about how much fun you've had with someone else at another time...another thing I'd say to regulate on a case by case basis.  The aim here would be an attempt to not make him feel left out, questioning your behavior or jealous.  However, I think with the right level of appropriateness, it is definitely OK to chat with other people about events or stories in which your man may have not been a part of, but make sure to include him in on the conversation and tell him all about it after the other person has stepped away.

I have to agree with "Don't be sentimental" - i.e. crying- especially in public. I think we've all been guilty of this at one point or another, myself included.  It can be tough dealing with your emotions sometimes, but it is true- men do not do well with tears and it will just make you feel worse when they do not react the way you want them to because they are confused and/or not used to dealing with a crying woman.  Of course however, we can't completely control our emotions.

"Don't be conspicuous" states not to flirt with other men.  This is another on-point one...it is not going to end well here.  It will only create drama, and there is no such thing as "good drama".  Besides, it is only a matter of time before a guy hits on you in front of him without you doing anything.  You never want to be the one initiating jealousy.

And of course, the last one, passing out in public...well, you all know my opinions on that already. ;-)

The Handbag Guide

(Obviously I am a little excited about my bag)

Bebe moto jacket, American Apparel tights, Aldo shoes, Gucci handbag

A girls guide to the perfect handbag.


So, I mentioned in one of my first posts that the most important accessory a woman can have out of her top 5 staple pieces is her handbag, and I'd like to elaborate on my favorite wardrobe item.  The handbag is the head of the staple group - and is the one piece of your wardrobe I'd advise to not skimp on one bit.  Handbags these days can be ridiculously pricey, and there is a lot to consider when going through the handbag selection process.  We all can't have 5 or 10 designer handbags to suit our every mood, so for every Lady out there who only can have one, here are some helpful tips to make sure The One you choose is the best fit for you-because lets face it, if you're going to spend a lot of cash here...it better fit you well.


The biggest piece of advice I have for purchasing your Daily Default handbag is to envision yourself wearing this thing on a day to day basis, and imagine what it will be like to carry that one piece with you at all times.


One of the most common mistakes I notice women tend to make when buying a handbag is becoming enchanted with a beautiful bag in the store, picking it just based on how it looks on that perfectly lit pedestal, only to have it looking beaten to shreds after six months of wear.  Yes, there are some ridiculously gorgeous bags out there with mink-lined shoulder straps, the softest cream suede you've ever seen, luxe soft velvet or the prettiest metallic snakeskin trim you've come across.  HOWEVER: think about how that bag is going to age.  These bags are meant to be worn occasionally, and do not fit in the Daily Default category.  Also, you have to consider your personal style...is that bag really going to go well with your everyday look?


When you wear a bag every day, it has to be sturdy and able to stand up to a lot of wear and tear.  Maybe that gorgeous lambskin cream colored Gucci isn't the best choice because after 3 months of wearing it, it is going to look like you dragged it through the gutter.  For this reason, I'm a big fan of patent leather.  I have two patent leather bags, and I've got to tell you that they stand up to basically anything.  Patent leather in colors like cream, nude, taupe and grey work for day and night, and are great Daily Default choices.  In addition, please note that metallic bags never have a long shelf life - the metallic always ends up coming off... better for nighttime clutches that are used sparingly.


Another thing to consider is how you feel comfortable holding it.  Are you the type to throw it over your shoulder?  Can you tolerate toting a bag around on your forearm all the time or will that get annoying?  Think about the daily mechanics of wearing the bag and what you are going to be irritated by.  Also, lots of bags that have outside lock/clasp hardware (such as this one: http://www.bagborroworsteal.com/Handbags/Louis-Vuitton/Louis-Vuitton-Melrose-Avenue-Handbag/18824) can become a pain in the ass to close each and every time you open it.  This would be a good example of a nice bag to have to wear on occasion, but not every single day unless you're ready to regularly "maintain" your bag.  Also, think about constantly opening and closing a zipper all the time as well.  That gets annoying...I'm the worst with that. My bags are always open and hanging all out because of this!


Last but not least, the style of your bag. Since you're wearing it every day, try to pick a bag that is tasteful, somewhat subdued but still fierce.  A big pet peeve of mine is all-over studded bags during the daytime.  And rhinestones are usually a NO, for day or night.  Also, think about how big your bag needs to be.  If you are a more petite girl, a big bag is not going to be the right fit, and will accentuate your shorter height.  Taller women tend to carry larger bags well, but a tiny bag would look silly.  And lastly, the color of your bag should accentuate the colors you like to wear most.  Black is always the safest bet, but nude is another out-of-the-box choice that goes well with mostly everything. As for patterns...I say stay away.  Even with label monograms (like the LV print) it can be cheesy.  If you're going to do it, go for more low key patterns, like black on black Gucci G print, or a stamped LV print, not the traditional brown LV print.  It has begun to look cheap and not classic like it used to be ever since the abundance of fake designer print bags has skyrocketed.


Here are some examples of what I have just discussed.


It's nice to have a versatile bag that can go two ways with a shoulder strap and tote handles as well, such as this gorgeous Alexander Wang:

For a more fierce, business woman look this would be a good choice (Gucci):

For the super low key, casual girl a style like this would be good since it doesn't have a zipper or clasp (Prada):

or this bag (Alexander Wang):

This is a good example of a subtle monogram print bag that doesn't overdo it (Louis Vuitton):

This would be a good example of a gorgeous bag that is not going to age well (Tory Burch suede bag):

This is a nice example of a different take on your usual Daily Default (Linea Pelle):

 Happy hunting ladies!


xo, Viva


Oh, and one more thing.  Jean is NEVER tolerated for handbags. Ever. :-)  

This is heinous.  Just because it's designer, doesn't make it right!

To Be Late is to be Unmindful

(The punctual sisters-we get it from our on-time stickler dad)

Trisha Fixx dress, Mac eyeshadow

Running late is one of the top things in life that I can say I am not regularly guilty of.  I personally can not handle it- there is no such thing for me as being late while also being relaxed.  If I am late, for anything, I am a wreck and often my entire day is ruined.


I've come to find that for a lot of people, running late exhibits to those waiting on you that you do not value other people's time (whether you really do or not), and portrays you in a childlike manner.  I have to agree.  This goes for both business and social events-if you commit to being on time to anything, stick to your guns.   There is no "trick" to being punctual - just be realistic about your timing, buckle down and cut the nonsense.  How many successful people do you know who are always late?  The count is low, and I guarantee you that the few existing successful people who are habitually late developed that habit once they reached success, not while earning success.


Always be on time to any event you commit to because when you're late, you might as well be saying "I think I am more important than you".  And, I'm sure that is not how you really feel or what you actually mean, so it's important to make sure you are representing yourself in a manner in which you feel confident standing behind.  In true slippery slope form, chronically late people also tend to adhere to  a "late lifestyle" - which has its obvious downfalls.  In addition, you want to showcase yourself in the best light possible...not to mention, display respect for those waiting on your lovely company.

xo, Viva

B**ch Fighting in the Bar

This post is inspired by an article on sfgate emailed to be about a vicious chick fight breaking out on Chestnut Street outside of a bar this past weekend after two girls bumped into each other.

Lady Law: Unless someone attacks you and you are defending yourself, there is never reason to be chick fighting in a bar.  And even then, I'd still say it's best to try and get yourself out of the situation, rather than physically fighting back.  Can you ever imagine yourself looking back on it and saying "I'm so happy over how I fought that girl.  That was a good decision."  Even if you win the fight - you might feel proud, and congratulations, now you likely will have a court date as well.

Think about it: do you really want a scar left behind by some chick's fake acrylic nail on your cheekbone?  Not cute.

Obviously it's for attention rather than resolution, but there are definitely better ways of getting attention.  Like, wowing them with your amazing outlook on life.  Or your charm.  Or your intelligence.  Or, making out with the chick next to you.  Just kidding on the last one. ;-)

And of course, some men tend to root this kind of behavior on (like they do girl on girl action), but do we really want to take advice from the same idiots who punch walls and break their hands when they're frustrated? (Reminiscing back to Scott Disick punching that mirror on KKTM - moron)

But in a seriousness, this relates back to my post "Men Age Gracefully, Women Just Age".  There are certain things women shouldn't contribute to, and throwing punches at another woman is definitely one of them.  Lets leave the fighting, and the arresting to the men.  Meanwhile we'll be at the bar, toasting to life while witnessing the idiocy unfold.

Cheers! 

xo, Viva

(Play-fighting for the camera)

Elizabeth and James top, BCBG skirt, BCBG clutch, American Apparel headband

White Carpet Style

So far, this is my favorite white carpet dress at the VMAs.  However, I do think she missed the mark with the hair, and maybe the shoes too.  The shoes remind me of something I bought at BP in Nordstrom back in 1999, and the hair looks a bit undone and somewhere in-between fierce and flop with those random, seemingly accidental colored extensions.  

FAB Marchesa dress, however...perfect for my upcoming birthday! ;-)  She's got such a great bod too...go Katy...next time I'm sure you'll wow us all the way.

xo, Viva

Dealing with Unwanted Advances

(Girls getting ready to fend off the boys) 
Forever 21 dress, Bebe belt, D & G clutch

Almost every woman alive has been challenged with how to deal with men's unwanted advances at least at one point throughout their existences.  It's how we deal with these type of situations that separates a girl from a Lady.

I can empathize with the frustration and inconvenience of dealing with these advances and being flirted with when you're just not in the mood.  However, it comes with being a woman and it is important to handle these kinds of situations with class and maturity, as we never, ever want to be classified as an embittered shrew - which is exactly how you come across when you're rude to a man who is giving you unwanted advances.  Remember, it's a nice problem to have.  Always.  Unless a gentleman is being physically threatening, there is usually never a need to become rude or angry.  

It is a tough one, because it's tempting to just snap at them and tell them to "leave me the *$*% alone!"  However, there will come a day when we as women will no longer be dealing with being hit on like we used to, so even when I get very irritated by it, a part of me is always appreciative of it-even in the most awkward moments.

I was out with a friend last week who I felt was being too rude to the men who repeatedly kept interrupting our conversation.  She felt like I was being a pushover, I felt like she was being a bitch.  I also think that our own two personal definitions of "bitch" and "pushover" are very different.  Nevertheless, it reminded me of how important it is to always carry yourself with class.  In my book, it takes effort to be rude - so unless someone is truly pissing you off, why go out of your way to be less than pleasant?

The best way to handle this is in the same fashion as dealing with a man in any situation - social or professional:  be friendly, polite yet firm, and don't take any shit.  Being rude without cause will only make you look silly and childish, however being a pushover and not standing up for yourself is not something you should have to do either.  It's a fine line to walk - but each Lady can find her balance when dealing with it...and will come out as a shining star, not a c u next Tuesday.  

Remember:  a go-getter man is upheld as successful, while a go-getter woman is classified as a "bitch".  Remember to play the game accordingly no matter how much you disagree with the rules, and you'll always come out on top.

xoxo, Viva

Someone Has to Say It

If you're drinking Starbucks, you're not a true coffee fan.  Just save yourself the money and calories...you're better off without it.

Watered down "espresso" that is really the equivalent to medium-weakness brewed coffee, super over sweetened, sugar saturated nonsense drink "creations", and low quality teas that belong on the Safeway shelf.

There's a system here: Peets --> Coffee Bean --> Starbucks.

Seriously, I wont even get coffee if Starbucks is the only option, and Coffee Bean is progressively sinking lower and lower on the totem pole.  I will give them credit for inventing the whole coffee beans blended INTO the frappe coffee drink idea.  Yummo.

End rant.

Somebody Has to Say It

UGGS -You either love them or hate them. And most men hate them, while women heart them.  I happen to love them, for when I'm sick, running errands on a cold day or when my feet are freezing cold.


However, I just came across a picture of a group of girls out at Infusion, and one of them (who shall remain nameless) was wearing UGGS IN THE CLUB.  Please ladies, Uggs in the club is right up there with barefoot in the club.  I mean, I feel like it's a redundant post, but I after seeing that picture I am obligated to say something!


Lady Law - no UGGS in any nightlife setting.  Not even in a casual dining situation.  I was going to say no UGGS after sundown...but if you're running a PM errand, they are suitable.


xo, Viva


(Couldn't find any pictures of me or my friends in uggs, sorry)

Guilty Pleasures

 Bcbg dress, Burberry watch, Dior earrings

1. Shopping without cause

2. Ice Cream

3. E! Entertainment Television (it's like empty calories)

4. Going to Las Vegas (but so worth the money and hangover)

5. Champagne

6. Checking Facebook 20+ times a day

7. My Iphone (although very useful as well)

8. Textsfromlastnight.com

10. Driving everywhere I go

11.  Eating out

12. Wearing flats when my feet hurt

13. Shopbop.com

Now that I've admitted to some of my guilty pleasures, what are some pleasures in life that we are not guilty over?  Let me see how many I can come up with.

1.Sleeping in

2. Adequately moisturizing my skin, no matter the cost

3. Eating out

4. Making out

5. Socializing

6. Blogging! (writing)

7. Long conversations with my friends on Gchat 

8. Buying airline tickets with Southwest (the credits are always good!)

9. Sky-high heels (I swear, they're not THAT uncomfortable girls)

10. Spray tans

11. Parking in yellow zones while waiting in the car and then skirting off when DPT comes so they cannot see my VIN and give me a ticket

12.  Asking the Peet's barista for a pump of chocolate syrup after I've paid my almost $4 fee so that they won't charge me an additional 35cents

13. Driving in the bus lane (although watch out for cops!)

14.  Talking to my mom on the phone (something good always comes out of it)

15. Returning items I've changed my mind on (store credit, bitches!)

16. Sending food back (if you don't like it, it's worth sending back.  Just do it politely and respectfully, and remember to tip for that dish as well)

17. Frozen yogurt (not as good as ice cream, but at least I can rationalize it, kind of)

18. Using physical force to push through the crowd at the club I work at when people just wont move (I can only yell so loud)

19. Forever21.com

20.  Using my employer-provided health insurance to the absolute maximum, for every tiny ailment

And the list can go on!  What are some of your guilty/not guilty pleasures?

Somebody Has to Say It

Ladies, please just say no to this season's equivalent to Harem Pants. That heel!




Two words: Court Jester

Monogamy is Dead

Over the past couple of years, I have been increasingly pondering relationships from a realist point of view.   I am starting to come to the conclusion at this point in my life, that a traditional monogamist  relationship and/or marriage is just not realistic.  I do believe that there is a tiny percentage of couples that somehow find each other and fall in love so deeply, they truly never want to be with anyone else.  I also believe that is extremely rare.  This business about marrying one person and remaining exclusive for the rest of our lives is to me completely unrealistic for most people.  Look at the divorce rate in our country.  Something is not working.

The reason people get so bent out of shape over "cheating" is due to their own insecurity and ego.   In the end, your issues with cheating are really just your own issues you have with the way you feel about yourself.  Once you have been able to succeed over your issues with yourself, you begin to look at "cheating" - and relationships-a whole other way.


Men know that most (I'd say a good 85%) men want to cheat and will if given the right opportunity.  In addition, a large amount of women cheat too.  Women are still in denial about how many men cheat, in my opinion.  Now, there are always the exceptions.  However, from all the relationships that I have watched in my short life so far, they have almost all lead me to feel that the monogamist one on one, boyfriend-girlfriend, husband-wife interaction just DOES NOT WORK!!  If you think about it, almost anything has the power to break a relationship up.  If you find yourself in the situation where your relationship is being broken by cheating, chances are that it was an unstable  and vulnerable relationship to begin with.  This being said, with all the people who are cheating in this world...it makes me consider a new type of relationship.

I was speaking with a very intelligent, prominent and respected woman in San Francisco about this a few months back.  Historically, everything this woman says is pretty much The Word, so the fact that even She agrees with me on this one truly reaffirms my opinion on this.  She was recalling her hayday back in the 70's, and comparing it to relationships now (and I'm paraphrasing here).  "Back then, everyone had sex with everyone!  Then all of a sudden it became about boyfriends, girlfriends, cheating...and I always thought it never made sense.  It wasn't like that back then.  Things have become much more monogomistic, I think a lot due to the introduction of STD's."   And we've still carried that with us, all the way up to 2010.

For me, relationship labels tend to be like that sober, negative buzzkill of a friend, putting a damper on things just when they're starting to become fun.  Once that label is slapped on there, out the door goes all the spontaneity, freshness and feelings of first love...and in with the reflex-like, robotic "I love yous", the ritual Saturday night routine, and last but not least...the urge to cheat and all the trauma that comes with that.

I am daring to envision a new, ideal relationship, where you find someone that you love and want to spend your life with, but never place "ownership" over that person.  This will never work unless both people are mutually all for it.  If one is hung up on wanting to be exclusive, obviously this will not work.  I guess I am also envisioning a revolution on our ideals and beliefs regarding relationships and how we automatically want to be "exclusive".  I am not even convinced that the desire to be exclusive is deeply ingrained in our evolutionary heritage, but a behavior that we have been trained to vehemently believe in by others and societal norms.

To me, the ideal relationship is mostly exclusive, with a touch of freedom.  Someone that you spend almost all of your time with -even in marriage as well.  I have basically accepted that almost all men cheat.  Once you have 100% accepted that fact, it becomes very freeing, and you then start to think about relationships differently.  It's no longer about "betrayal", but about "understanding".  Now, I will admit that men would most likely end up being the ones to put this understanding to use more, as I believe women are not as sexually driven as men.  However, it's important that it is a rule that applies for both parties.

I full-heartedly believe that relations with others (when safe) can even be healthy and therapeutic for couples and has the power to expand your horizons when in a relationship.  For example, has anyone ever cheated on their other, only to realize how strongly you feel about the person you just cheated on?  How all you want to do is run back to that other person you just "cheated on"?  I've never actually cheated on anyone before, but I have known multiple people who this has happened to, and have had similar experiences myself.

Straying with others definitely has the power to break things up as well, especially if one or both parties are kidding themselves and not actually ready to cope with it. In addition, I want to note that there must be a level of respect given to this type of arrangement I'm speaking of.  Every couple is different, and will adhere to different rules and boundaries they have created for their own situation.

I know that I sound very cynical about my viewpoint on relationships, but I'd like to think of it as just being more realistic.  And keep in mind that what I described above would have to come with certain levels of respect, also.  What I mean by that is...for example, I wouldn't want my guy to pick up a hooker in front of me, or at all for that matter.  It's a fine line.  And if I meet my true love one day, none of this will even matter.  It's the scarcity of finding true love that makes me think this way.  Keeping my hopes up, as should you.

xoxo
Viva

"Men Age Gracefully, Women Just Age"

How many people are offended by the above statement?  I remember the first time I heard that, I was appalled.  I was saddened, I was angry.  However, no matter how many times I go through a feminist tangent in my head and try to talk myself out of thinking that is an accurate statement, a tiny part of me knows that it is at least halfway true in certain areas of womanhood.  While completely unfair and arguably discriminatory, it is a fact of life that in our society (if you are concerned with that) women live by a separate book of rules than men do.  There are just certain things men can get away with and women can not.

A perfect example:
Once a female has grown past the age of 24, I'd say that a new set of rules applies for when it comes to drinking alcohol in public.

My opinion: a woman (woman =  after 24, girl before 24) should never be visibly drunk in public.  Now, being drunk in public and noticeably having had a few drinks are two different things.  Usually, more than four-five drinks is too much, and will result in sloppy sloppy.  There are definitely certain markers of being visibly drunk: eye drooping, stumbling, slurring, reeking of alcohol, makeup streaking down face, crying about something stupid, misplaced items (including misplaced clothing - i.e. shirt straps falling down, blouses becoming untucked), and last but DEFINITELY not least, taking your shoes off at the end of the night and walking barefoot.  In the end, it's all about how well you can carry yourself and hold your liquor.  For some women that means 10 drinks, others will fall apart after 3.

There are few things more unattractive to me than seeing a beautiful woman out in public, visibly drunk and/or stumbling around, making an embarrassment of herself.  Heck- this definitely goes for men too - it is NOT a good look.  On anyone.  There is something that makes me pity a visibly trashed woman more than a male, however.  A male can stumble off into the night, drunk as a skunk, and I'm pretty comfortable with the idea that the idiot will find his way safely.  A woman, however, drunkenly stumbles off into the night and immediately I am concerned that she will be beaten, kidnapped, raped.  I am also in a very basic sense just plain turned off more by a drunk woman.  A drunk man is annoying, a drunk woman is tragic.

Now, please don't get me wrong!  I am ALL FOR having a blast and drinking! I'm not an angel.  I have had my moments...puked in public, fallen in the middle of the street,  I am definitely no homebody.   However, I like to believe I've learned from my mistakes, at least a little bit.  I just hate to see sloppy messes in public-take it home.  You are free to go buck wild once in a controlled situation.  Get naked!  Have an orgy!  Drink a box of wine! However, when in public...keep it classy.

Being women comes with certain rules of life.  Sometimes I like to think of it as a nice trade off; men will never experience the joy of being pregnant, or the excitement of being courted the way a man does a woman.  That being said, it's still a sad truth to realize that we must behave in certain...more appropriate ways to preserve our public appearance, reputation and dignity.  I guess it is referred to as "being ladylike".

What do you think?  Is the trade off of enjoying womanhood worth the expense of having to live by certain more restrictive rules than men?
xo, Viva

Daily Default in SF

Gucci scarf, Bebe moto jacket, Owlita earrings

Scarves.  A scarf can take a look from slightly haphazard to fashion-forward and fabulous.  I just added a second Daily Default scarf to my collection today, and the excitement is coming through in my blog.

My personal favorite type of scarf is a square cut which can be folded into a triangle and worn Afgani-style as shown in the picture above (which I am still all for even though it was at its peak of trendy a couple of seasons ago), or simply folded in half to a rectangle and worn that way as well.  The possibilities are endless.  In addition, they really come in handy as blankets on planes, in movie theaters, ect.

The great thing about scarves besides how they tend to pull a look together is the added benefit that they actually serve a purpose: warmth!  I am pretty much freezing cold all the time, and having a scarf on or tied to my bag comes in clutch and is very aesthetically pleasing as well.  There are a ton of beautiful higher quality scarves that tend to be a little pricey, but there are so many great scarves out there for next to nothing, so every lady can afford the luxury of having one.

However, make sure to buy or order a scarf that is not all wool, or you'll be way to itchy to deal with wearing it more than just occasionally.  My favorite scarf (shown above) is 30% silk, 70% wool.  And please, to avoid the ascot look, make sure it's 3.5 feet x 3.5 feet or larger if you're purchasing a square shawl/scarf.

Here in polar SF, we can rationalize this Daily Default purchase with 100% confidence! No guilt trips with this one. Enjoy! ;-)

One Big Room, Full of Bad Bitches

My friend Adrian introduced me to this music video/song called "Bumpin Bumpin" by a young Berkely film school student who goes by Kreayshawn.  I LOVE it, and I wanted to introduce it to you all.  I want to listen to it all the time!

It's so inspiring to see when people follow their goals and make stuff happen...you can really tell this girl is all about what she is putting out there and has remarkable talent.  She's going to be a hit, I can feel it.

To top it off, she's only 20!  Represent for the Bay Area Kreayshawn, you're basically awesome.

Heres the link!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyWp7t2Wf7M&feature=player_embedded

Where I'm Coming From

I thought I'd clear something up that has been hanging in the back of my head.

I realize that reading one or two of my blog posts individually may result in me being perceived a certain way.  If you don't really know me, and how I speak in real life, it might be a bit of corrosive reading for you.  I wanted to write a piece about where my head is at when I write these pieces, and hopefully my audience will be able to better understand my viewpoint and how the blog should be taken.

For me, writing is very therapeutic, especially when I hold nothing back whatsoever.  I like the idea that people are going to be shocked, surprised, inspired or humoured by what I have to say.  A friend of mine pointed out to me that it might be a better idea to have a journal to serve that purpose.  I don't know about you, but I have never been able to keep up with a journal, even though I've tried multiple times throughout my life (especially as a kid/teen).  It's pretty boring, for me.  There is something about writing publicly, and writing very raw and uninhibited that is satisfying and beneficial for me.  In addition to that, the pieces I've been writing are also very much ME, unfiltered.

I want my readers to see that each post reflects one of the many moods I possess.  I've gotten a slight bit of negative feedback about what I've written so far.  My first instinct was to become self conscious and possibly edit the posts, or reconsider how I've been writing.   However, I don't want to change the way I'm writing... I'm actually very happy with how it's been turning out, even though it might make me look superficial or bitchy sometimes.  Take it for what it is, and realize that I'm usually writing with a bit of sarcasm, sass and humour.

Besides, that's what makes it readable and exciting!  I'd like to encourage opinions here.

Cell Phone Snooping

BCBG Blazer, Forever 21 top, Louis Vuitton handbag

Shayne Lamas recently posted an entry on her blog about this, and I've always had strong feelings about this as well.  I thought I'd write a short bit about it.

Going through your sig other's phone is one of the things in life I can't preach against enough.  Trust me, doing it will ONLY upset you.  Anything you find in their phone, you are going to take out of context because you do not know the origins of that text or email, and you've already got it in your head that they are doing something bad so you will be looking for things to freak out about. There is nothing good that can come out of doing this, ever.

First of all, if you find yourself wanting to go through his/her phone in the first place, either they are untrustworthy and doing something they shouldn't be doing, or your head is in the wrong place and you're acting like a psychopath.  Besides, nowadays with most phones you can delete any call logs/texts or emails, so if you don't find anything, you can never be sure whether or not something is going on, so it just contributes to the psycho mind game.  As soon as you feel the urge to snoop, right then and there is when you need to reconsider whether this relationship is for you or not.  Because, after you go through that phone only bad things will happen.  Lets consider them.

1.) You go through their phone and find no incriminating texts/emails/calls.  Good for now, but the urge will lurk beneath...and you will do it again until you find something.
2.) You find incriminating evidence and are stabbed in the heart.  This feeling is probably the worst feeling in the world aside from a loved one passing away.  You can either do two things at this point:
              a.) Say nothing because you are too scared to admit that you went through their phone, left to                     stifle the many questions brewing in your head which will ultimately drive you insane
             b.) Confront them about it, which will either blow up into a dramatic fight in which afterwards you'll make up temporarily, but the trust will be destroyed in your relationship
             c.) You will break up as a result of it

Save yourself the grief, and either dump them or just decide to end your crazy then and there.  Chances are you are insecure, and that is showing through to your other even if you are trying to hide it.  Maybe you need a break to re-examine yourself and gain your confidence back.  Only until you respect yourself and your partner 100% are you ready for a healthy relationship.  The only things that matter are the direct interactions between you and them - nothing else.  So stop with the psychoanalyzing and believe me, trust that no matter what-their dishonest behavior will be exposed one way or the other, and not either of those ways are going to be through snooping.

xo, Viva

Seaworld Controversy

Seaworld has been in the news lately for all the controversy surrounding the fees and fines that are being slapped on the company for the "lack of safety" for the trainers.  The article I read also mentioned that specifically, Seaworld was being fined for the death of one of their trainers a while back- Dawn Brancheau by one of their captive orcas, Tillicum.  The majority of the argument seems to be centered around whether Seaworld should be fined or not.

Is it just me, or is everyone ignoring/dancing around the real valid point here: THOSE ANIMALS SHOULD NOT BE IN CAPTIVITY BEING FORCED TO DO TRICKS ALL DAY IN THE FIRST PLACE.  Seaworld is evil to me.   How come nobody is talking about the REAL problem here - why are we allowing Seaworld to exist in the first place?  To me, it's blatant animal cruelty.  Maybe that's why they lash out from time to time and humans get killed?  It's an unpredictable huge wild animal.  How many safety precautions can you really take?

If it were up to me, Seaworld as a corporation would be killed, and the existing animals that have been raised in captivity would be relocated somewhere to live the rest of their days in peaceful captivity where they aren't being forced to perform daily, as releasing them into the wild would not be a valid option.  Why are we allowing Seaworld to exist?  To bring our children there and give them exhilaration by looking at the animals?  There are other, better ways to stimulate our children without animal cruelty involved.  The reasons for Seaworld existing in the first place are frivolous, faulty and immoral, and do not provide any thing near a valid reason for the park to exist.

While we're on the topic, I also believe that the amount of zoos we have in this country is out of control as well.  It is not necessary for so many animals to be suffering in small, rundown zoos that various cities across the nation are unable to maintain.  Since banning zoos entirely would not fly, I think we should have a very small amount of zoos in this country - destination zoos, that people would travel to and center their vacations around (like Disney World).  Maybe one for each region of the country. Large, well-kept zoos where the animals have enough space and resources to be able to live their lives in a somewhat more comfortable situation.  There is no reason to justify every halfway decent sized city in America having a zoo.  Multiple cities are unable to properly maintain these zoos due to budget issues, and the animals are the ones suffering because of it.

I'm sure you are already thinking of the particular incident I am going to mention as an example of why - Tatiana at the San Francisco zoo.  That was a combination of multiple factors: a run down facility that was unable to keep the tiger in captivity, zoogoers that were taunting the animal, and an animal that acted out due to the poor living situation it was forced to live in.  When you actually go to that tiger exhibit at the SF Zoo it's easy to see why that incident happened, and shocking that there haven't been more incidents like that.  It is one of the most depressing, inhumane things to see as it is basically a small setup of various square concrete spaces that are obviously not adequate to house tigers or lions, with cloudy Plexiglas windows to look at the motionless, depressed animals with.  That entire zoo is a pit of death and depression, in my opinion.

When you take a step back and look at it, it does seem a bit unbelievable just how many run-down zoos exist in this country, and how nobody seems to take issue with it.  Let's re-examine our morals and ethics behind animals in captivity.  Hopefully it will change for the better some day in the future. (By the way, how ridiculous is that picture up above?  It seems to encapsulate my entire argument just in how absurd it is.)

High and Low

Girls, we've all been there.  You're sitting there, minding your own business.  Then comes Miss Thing, walking by with her new YSL satchel, Louboutin Flannel Over-The-Knee Boots, Chloe sunglasses, Vince sheer cotton top and just to top it off she has that gold Michael Kors watch you've been estalking for the past month.  "How the *&@# can that *#*@! afford all that shit!!??"  And just like that, your iced soy latte experience has been ruined.

We call her the have-it-all.  However, lets be real ladies: most of us cant have it all!  I see those girls decked out head to toe in Couture and I too develop a mini-fit of rage.  And then, I realize that what is going on is almost comedic.  It is just not realistic to have every piece of your wardrobe be couture.  Unless you come from royalty, are well-founded in your career and have achieved a high level of success, have crazy family money or its all "coming from your man" (and I DON'T suggest the latter, ladies), you are just like me...estalking the things you wish you could afford online.

But, a ray of shining light in this depressing plight of ours.  Let's channel this negative energy into productivity and I'll introduce you to my method of dealing with this.  It's ALL about the high and low.  Every woman needs to find her staple pieces.  Usually there are three to five, depending on how high maintenance your girl is.  For me, its five: handbag, sunglasses, wallet, ring, makeup. (Ok, I'm fibbing, there are definitely a few more for me, but for efficiency's sake, we'll keep it at a minimum.)  You would think shoes would be in there, but I'll let you in on my shoe secret later in this post.  It is essential (in my opinion, of course) that those 5 pieces are items that should not be skimped on.  No matter how long it may take you to save up to splurge on these items, do it.  It may take you two years to save up for that Louis Vuitton handbag, but I will tell you from personal experience: the feeling you will have when you buy that bag is unlike any other feeling in the world.  I know it may sound materialistic, but for the obsessed fashionista like me, its the truth.  The feeling that designer Couture brings is unparalleled.

The handbag is the head of the essentials group, the most important item to splurge on.  You will not regret that purchase. I always have my Tiffany & Co ring on.  It's shaped like an "O", and I still love it every time I look down at it.  Big, beautiful designer sunglasses are also an essential for me.  They are clutch when you want to hide behind them a little bit, and everyone can see how fabulous they are all the time since they are so exposed - so make sure to pick a pair that shines.  The wallet also makes the High item cut simply because it makes an appearance often throughout every day.  You'll get excited every time you see it - and every time the cashier or person in line behind you compliments you on it.  And lastly, your face.  Your face is the most important part of your look, so make sure you are decorating it properly with quality makeup, which I am displaying in the picture below here. There's nothing worse than cakeface or black inner eye crust.  And don't forget the sunscreen, please...no matter your skin tone.

Other than your 5 personal essentials, you are free to go buck wild with the Low items.  I personally am a HUGE fan of Forever21 for this.  I know a lot of girls hate going in there, but you'd be shocked to see the potential of what their pieces can be turned into.  Just take a look at my Facebook pictures, for instance.  Half of those clothes come from F21.  More favorites of mine include American Apparel, Bebe, Aldo (shoe secret!) and Urban Outfitters.  The moral of the story here: it is definitely OK to mix high end designer items with a crap Hanes tshirt if that tshirt happens to fit well.

We can't afford it all.  But, with some creativity and go-ahead, you can have that five-star look for much less than Miss Thing paid. Another thing to remember is that the base of good fashion isn't about cash.  Take Britney for example.  She's loaded, yet somehow just canNOT get her look together.

After all, a look comes together with know-how, not money.

See you at F21! xo, Viva

Nadri earrings, Haute Hippie blouse, MAC lipstick

"There are no ugly women, only lazy ones." -Helena Rubinstein

Unbeknownst to the entire country now- thanks to MTV,  San Francisco has always been known as "The City", not New York.  So, whenever I use the term "The City", you can always have faith that I am only referring to my beautiful oasis of crisp cool air and fog - San Francisco.  I've decided to start up this blog after being inspired by the blog of Shayne Lamas of all people.  Her blog is truly all about femininity and fashion.  Mine will be about opinions, rants, fashion, food - whatever happens to jump into my head that day.  Hey, I have been Yelping for the past 4 years...time to up the ante!  Her blog refreshed my memory on what it's like being a beautiful woman, and I'd like to write about such things more often to keep this wonderful feeling of luxury flowing through my veins.

That being said, I'd like to note that up here in The City, we've always been lacking a bit in the high-fashion arena.  Don't get me wrong, there are definitely exceptions to every rule (Carolyn Chandler and Jennifer Newsom, I'm talking to you).  However, there simply just aren't enough fashion-forward women (and men) up here in the cold, especially when compared to our stepsister city - LA.  The only areas L.A. has The City beat is in good weather and the abundance of fashionable people.  We rule in every other way, period.  However, I'd be lying if I said that those weren't two huge factors in life, especially fashion.

So, partially as a result of the huge lack in Louboutin in The City, I have always taken a personal mission out on myself to maintain fashion and femininity, even when running to Peets at 10am (because I rarely wake up before that hour).  Don't get me wrong, I too have been guilty of falling victim to last night's 4th tequila shot and ran out quickly without makeup on.  However, on this day, August 23, 2010, I am taking a vow to never participate in that kind of behavior again.  I have realized lately that no matter what, (well, unless someone died or street cleaning is coming and you have forgotten to move your car AGAIN) there is always time to swipe some foundation on, and leggings instantly spiff up any outfit where you'd consider wearing sweats.  And yes, Juicy velour counts as sweats, my darlings.

I want to take this time to personally thank every other woman in San Francisco who puts as much (if not more) time and effort as I do into their daily look.  The other day (right after walking out of Peet's at 10am, I might add) a 30-something gentleman on the street told me I looked "beautiful today, and I'd just like to thank you for taking the time and effort to look as great as you do".  That one statement really just solidified the fact that I'll be wearing platforms and perfume for the rest of my life.

See you on the streets, ladies.

xo,

Viva